Romance frauds are frauds carried out online, often starting on legitimate dating websites, and involve a criminal pretending to seek and engage in a developing romantic relationship with their target - with the sole aim of exploiting them emotionally and devastating them financially. They will use any tactics they can to identify and exploit vulnerabilities and the hopes and romantic aspirations of their target.

Much like coercive control, gaslighting and domestic violence and abuse, the criminal will manipulate language to distort their target's reality, manipulate power and isolate them from sources of support and reality. Romance frauds are far from the popular pervasive narratives of victim blaming, greed and ignorance that prevent victims from coming forward, hinder the investigative response and limit the aftercare available.

Unfortunately, it is the nature of romance frauds that people become a victim of emotional and psychological manipulation long before any financial exploitation takes place. By the time the fraudster asks their target for money, the grooming process means that the victim is unlikely at that point to recognise the criminal's intentions as threatening, particularly in the absence of support from friends, family and relevant organisations who can take an objective view of the situation.

The language of fraud prevention can help victims and their families by better reflecting the lived experience of victims who are being groomed in a romance fraud. This  in turn would increase the likelihood of victims recognising what is happening to them. The first step is for prevention and awareness-raising literature to treat this crime as a type of gaslighting or grooming and ensure that warning signs of romance fraud are framed around these types of behaviours.

Advice needs to focus on the key areas of identifying and preventing isolation from friends and family, that discussions about money may not involve them being asked for money directly, the use of failing health or panic about a financial situation may be used to gain sympathy and invoke a protective response from the victim (with this manifesting emotionally and financially), the victim being blamed for the fraudster's difficulties or problems, and the victim being put in a position where they feel they are the only one that can help the fraudster.

Subtle changes in advice will not only help victims and their families identify that a romance fraud is occurring, but, by reflecting the coercive nature of romance fraud communications, good advice can highlight the psychological manipulation involved in this type of financial exploitation, and the serious, multifaceted harm of this type of organised crime.